Loving beyond your past starts from you knowing these three things; the meaning of love, identifying your past traumatic experiences, identifying the impact of that particular traumatic experience on your relationship.
It is important to know that love is not a feeling or emotion but a force of attraction that stirs you to be commitment in you to be romantically involved with a person.
Most relationships starts from attraction and attraction could be anything; looks, intellect, spirituality etc.
Commitment is paying the price needed to make your relationship/marriage work. Although, it’s relative but certain price are basic;- Give(time, finance and intellect), Forgiveness.
Finally, traumatic experiences can color ones perception about himself or herself. Identifying your traumatic past and impact will help you seek the required help to make your relationship/marriage blissful.