RELATIONSHIP MENTORING SCHOOL RMS
MAKING COURTSHIP WORK 102
BY TOSIN TOGUN
MON, MAY 27, 2019
Must courtship work? This is a question that demands urgent answer. Most courtship are not working because of the following reasons:
- IMMATURITY
- REALITY E.G PAST, FAMILY, PHYSIC
- TRUST: TO BLIVE IN THE CAPACITY AND THE RELIABILITY OF A PERSON. # PRETENSE, SEX#
- COMPATIBILITY
- AGE DIFFERENCE
- FAMILY DIFFERENCE
- LACK OF PREPARATION/ NO EXPOSURE
- ALTERNATIVE
- LONG COURTSHIP
- COMMUNICATION
- LACK OF MENTORING
- PITY
- POOR FINANCE MGT
- OVER FAMILIARITY BY COHABITATION
- IMPATIENCE
This evaluation will lead us to therapy 1, discussing possible solutions to these aforementioned problems.
#THERAPY 1#
LOVE MAP ENHANCEMENT
LOVE MAP IS THE PART OF YOUR BRAIN WHERE YOU STORE RELEVANT INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR PARTNER’S LIFE John M. Gottman, PH.D.Information like:
- REMEMBERING THE MAJOR EVENTS IN EACH OTHER’S HISTORY E.G SCARS
- UPDATING OF INFORMATION AS SOME FACTS as they CHANGE
- BEING IN TOUCH WITH OUTLINE OF EACH OTHER’S LIFE E.G HOBBIES
- BEING IN TOUCH WITH EACH OTHER’S DEEPEST LONGINGS, MOTIVATION, BELIEFS, FEARS, JOY,LIKE, DISLIKE, STRESS ETC
- PARTNERS MAKING EACH OTHER THEIR PRIORITY AFTER GOD BY CATCHING UP WITH EACH OTHERS DAY
- GOING ON DATES AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH JUST TO BE FAMILIAR WITH EACH OTHER’S WORLD, POLITICS, SPORT WEATHER ETC
Without a rich love map, you cannot really know your partner; how do you love people when you don’t know them. If you start off your courtship on the deep knowledge of each other; it will be easy for your courtship or marriage not to lose its wear off when you experience major shift e.g birth of 1st child, job shift, illness, travelling etc. Love is not only the reward for knowing your spouse but access to the fortitude to bear storms that wear out some other courtship/marriage. The major known enemy of love map is pre-marital sex. Especially, among engaged singles.
Join us on Monday 24th of June, 2019. As we continue to explore possible and lasting solutions to avoid broken Courtships or marital engagement.
Reference:
Ayo Akinsete:2009, Don’t Get Jilted
John M. Gottman, PH.D: 1999, The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work
